


Confessions

by maryagrawatson



Series: Mina [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 14:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3293192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryagrawatson/pseuds/maryagrawatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's nothing wrong with Sherlock. His priorities have changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions

You're finally asleep. It wasn't easy tonight. Maybe you just wanted to keep me company? That's what I'm getting from everyone these days. Your daddy and Uncle Greg have told me as much that they're worried about me. I think they think I'm depressed because I haven't taken an active case in months, one where I get my hands dirty, confront criminals, and only get a few bruises if I'm lucky, or a knife in my thigh if I'm not.  
  
The thing is, it's not just me anymore, is it? Now that your mama's gone, I think you need me even more. I have to be there for you those two days a week that you don't go to your daycare and that one weekend when your daddy does his night shift rotation. It wouldn't be fair to you both to lose me, too, for a case, because I was 'bored'. And I did make a vow to all three of you to always be there for you.

No case would be worth putting your daddy through any more anguish. No case would be worth not seeing you grow up. There are plenty of interesting cases I can solve from the flat. And truth be told, I've seen enough of the God awful things people do to each other to never need to see any more.  
  
And then, there's Anney. I didn't think too much about what I was getting into when I brought her home. It just felt like the right thing to do. But now, after so many months, I understand my responsibility to her and, really, it is not so different from your daddy's responsibility to you. What would become of Anney if I didn't come home one day? Oh, I know your daddy would take her if it came to that, but he has his hands full. I can't count on that. It wouldn't be fair to either of them.  
  
But there is more to it than just that, Mina. I'm going to tell you a secret, little one, since you are too young to understand me yet. Your daddy and Uncle Greg don't know this, but the scars on my back pull and itch and burn every day. My joints ache from too many nights of sleeping rough, being hog tied, making too big of a jump and landing hard. I am getting old, Mina.  
  
And yet, every bit of discomfort I feel reminds me not just of my transport's fragility, but of how much I have endured to live this long. It has all been too much for me to take my life for granted now. I should have been dead a dozen times over. Obviously, I am meant to live. So why would I chase death when, finally, I have so much to live for?  
  
Ssh, ssh. There now. Sleep. Sleep. I'll stay the night if you want me to.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written to address a comment by my muse Jolie_Black for my story 'The Clues He Missed' about Sherlock's life being a little too sedate to be believable.
> 
> I have to say a lot of this comes from knowing what it's like to have been in go, go, go, go mode for years, working in a field where you see the worst things people do to each other, and needing time to just breathe for a bit and focus on the living.
> 
> And as for scars and aching joints and staring death in the face more than a couple of times, let's just say that's from experience, too. *wry grin*


End file.
